


The Feeling Was Friendship

by Lepord257



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Gen, Utter Nonsense, do they count as ocs if they're blantant self inserts?, freelancer era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-07 03:54:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14662779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lepord257/pseuds/Lepord257
Summary: Agents Alaska, Colorado, California, and Pennsylvania may not be the best of the best; but they have one thing over the Leaderboarders: the ability to talk about their feelings and work as a team. Also, Alaska is pretty good at Solitaire.





	The Feeling Was Friendship

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fatgeesesayhonk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fatgeesesayhonk/gifts).



> Happy Birthday September!!

Three am on the Mother of Invention was never as quiet as it should be. Between the paranoia, insomnia, and espionage everyone pretended they didn’t know was happening; someone was _always_ awake. This morning in particular, the culprits were agents California, Pennsylvania, Colorado, and Alaska hidden in the corner of weapons storage.

“It’s over, Alaska. There’s no way left to win,” Colorado said as quietly as they could manage. Pennsylvania winced. Quiet for Colorado was still loud, and they were right by her ear.

“That’s where you’re wrong. I can end it right now.”

“Bullshit!”

“Colorado,” California pleaded. “Someone’s going to hear us.”

Alaska ignored them both, drew a card from the stock pile, set it on the end of the third row, and gathered the remaining cards into the finished piles. Colorado gaped at them.

“How are you so _good_ at solitaire?”

They shrugged. “Must be my freelancer power.”

Colorado laughed, but California just looked confused. “Your what?”

“Freelancer power,” Alaska said, like that explained everything. “It’s like- everyone here has their thing. York’s bad at locks, North and Pennsylvania are snipers, Carolina has her super speed-”

“And my heart!”

“-and Colorado’s heart.” Pennsylvania chuckled and pulled Colorado closer where they were leaning against each other. “Mine, apparently, is being really good at solitaire.”

Somewhere out of sight there was the whoosh of the storage compartment door opening and closing. The four of them fell silent as another group of agents began a ushed argument of their own.

“I’m not saying you have to like her, but you can’t keep-”

“Can’t keep _what,_ Wash?”

 _Wash?_ Alaska mouthed at Colorado.

 _I can’t read lips_. They tried to mouth back.

“-just saying you can’t keep leaving us behind like that.”

“Then maybe _you_ should be keeping up with _me._ ” California’s eyebrows looked like they were trying to escape their forehead they were raised so high as the other agent stormed out.

“Carolina!” Wash jogged after her. “Carolina, wait!”

The door closed with another woosh. “Holy shit,” Colorado breathed.

“Darlin’, we are all right here you don’t need to be that loud,” Pennsylvania said, burying her face in their shoulder.

“Why,” Alaska said, “is everyone on the leaderboard like that? We’re never like that!”

“Maybe we’re just that awesome,” Colorado said, shrugging. “Oops. Sorry, Penn.”

“Or maybe it’s because whenever something happens you make us sit down and talk about it,” California said, rolling her eyes.

“Hey Alaska!”

“Darlin’, _please._ ”

“Maybe that’s your freelancer power! Teamwork!”

Alaska hummed thoughtfully. “You know what, Colorado? Maybe it is.”

Three days later, Alaska had everyone on the leaderboard and their team in the rec room for “team bonding”. No one was entirely sure how they managed it. The most popular theories were “pulled a gun on the Counselor” and “deal with the devil”. Both seemed equally likely.

It started off as anyone could have expected. Everyone on the leaderboard looked vaguely uncomfortable, with the exceptions of Carolina who was openly hostile and Maine who could be intimidating dressed in a tutu and holding a puppy. Alaska’s team was much more varied in terms of attitude.

California seemed to be in attendance for the sole purpose of watching a slow motion train wreck. Colorado alternated between giving Alaska pep talks and keeping Pennsylvania from bolting any time Carolina or Texas so much as glanced in her direction. Alaska themself was growing steadily more exasperated with each passing minute.

“I’m not asking you to confess your deepest darkest secrets, guys. It’s a trust fall. You jumped off an imploding building _last week_ , I know you can do this.”

Silence.

“Is anyone going to volunteer, or am I going to have to pick someone?”

Carolina spoke up first, to everyone's surprise. “I’d be _happy_ to catch-”

Colorado leapt up, all but sprinting to the center of the room. “I’ll fall! No need to volunteer anyone else!”

Alaska eyed them suspiciously. “Subtle,” they muttered under their breath.

“She has been glaring daggers at Tex since she got here; I just prevented a bloodbath and you know it.”

Colorado pointedly turned their back to Carolina, holding their arms out and screwing their eyes shut. “Whenever you’re ready, C!”

“...C?”

“Yeah, ‘cause like,” Colorado faltered. “We both have names that start with C and Carolina’s kind of long-”

California sat down in Colorado’s vacated seat next to Pennsylvania and whispered something in her ear. Pennsylvania giggled. Alaska tried to pretend they weren’t betting on whether Colorado would stop talking or ramble on four ten minutes powered by anxiety and embarrassment.

“Colorado’s a long name too, kinda. I think it has the same amount of syllables? I could shorten that too. Maybe Rad? No, wait, that makes me sound like a character in an educational PSA from the 90s.”

They would always opt for rambling.

“California’s a long one too.” California whipped around to glare at Colorado. Not that they could see it, as they still hadn’t opened their eyes. “We could be the C sisters! Except I’m not a girl, so-”  
  
“-Are you going to fall or not?” Carolina snapped.

Colorado shut their mouth with an audible _click_ and let themself fall backwards into Carolina’s waiting arms. Alaska sighed in relief.

“Great job guys! Everyone give them a round of applause.” The agents slunk back to their seats to the most half-hearted clapping ever heard outside of a middle school talent show. “Who wants to go next?”

Tex stood.

“Great! Thank you, Texas. Now who-”

“Your turn, Carolina.”

Carolina stood. Walked over to Tex. Walked _past_ Tex. Got as far as the door before Alaska said in the most strangled voice ever, of all time, “Let’s try something else!”

Fifteen minutes and one impassioned plea to please set a good example Carolina, everyone here looks up to you, the agents were seated in a circle all waiting for someone else to ask why Alaska was holding a soccer ball. “This,” Alaska said, “Is the speaking ball. We’re going to pass it around the circle and whoever has the ball gets to talk.”

“Oh no,” someone whispered. It didn’t particularly matter who. The sentiment was alive in all of them.

“We’re going to go around the circle,” They continued, “and say one thing you want everyone here to know.”

“Oh _no._ ” Someone else had spoken that time. They still spoke for everyone.

“It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It could be something as simple as liking someone's hair cut. The important thing is that we’re all communicating like a team. Colorado. Why don’t you start?” They said, passing the ball to their left.

“Right. Something I want everyone to know.” They drummed their fingers against the ball, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. “I, um, I love my girlfriend a lot and she’s the best.”

“Maybe something that _isn’t_ painfully obvious to everyone here,” California suggested, choking back laughter. Pennsylvania looked to all the world like she wanted to be absorbed into the couch.

“Colorado has the speaking ball, California,” Alaska reminded her. “You did great, Colorado.”

Colorado grinned at Pennsylvania and tossed the ball to the left. Carolina looked down at it contemplatively. Then, she grinned up at the rest of them. The entire room got colder by ten degrees.

“ _I_ got my spot on the leaderboard without _cheating_.” Then she chucked the ball across the circle at Tex.

“That’s not really-”

“It’s fine, Alaska,” Texas cut them off. “I’d be happy to train with you later, Carolina. Maybe show you the motorcycle trick from the freeway. No cheating involved.”

“ _Oh no_.”

“ _Now listen up you fucking-”_

“Agent Carolina!” Alaska shouted. “Texas has the speaking ball!”

“ _FUCK THE SPEAKING BALL!”_ Carolina launched herself at Texas with a wordless roar. Folding chairs tumbled to the floor as freelancers scrambled away from the women. Pennsylvania and California vaulted over the couch to watch from cover. Alaska dropped their head in their hands and groaned.

“Why this. Why are they like this.”

Colorado put their arm around their friend in a weak attempt at comfort. “Wanna go reenact Mad Max with the Warthogs?”

Alaska nodded. Colorado guided Alaska out the door, Pennsylvania and California following close behind. Leaderboarders. _So weird._


End file.
